Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Absent

I haven't tried to be absent from this space, it's just happened.  I hate looking back at chunks of missing time with no record of our lives.  We just lived them.  I suppose those months of missing entries can tell me some things about what must have been happening- obviously it was too much busy, and writing about it took a back seat.  But I'm ready to write again.  It's good for my head and my heart.

Lately I've been in the middle of some growing as a mom.  It's the kind of growth that makes me feel like I'm not only failing as a mom, but I'm failing my children.  Deep down I know that neither of those things are true, but I also know that if I don't give this job my best efforts they could both become true.  Days seem so long, sometimes.  Over the weekend, I read a thought on Easter that really struck me.  "The world's best and worst days were only 3 days apart." Such a great sentiment for one of my most loved holidays, but also such great perspective for the trenches of motherhood.  Recently I've felt like I've had some of the worst days of motherhood.  Reading this helped me realize that just because one day was the worst doesn't mean the next day couldn't be the best.

Writing feels rusty.  But I want to come back.  There is life to catch up on documenting and things to keep track of moving forward.  Onwards and upwards, right?  It's spring, that's a good start.


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