Friday, September 20, 2013

Checking In

I have accepted that while there is a season for everything, this is not currently my season for blogging. Hopefully in a few months that will change, but right now things are sporadic at best, and that's ok.  I do want to remember a few things here and there. I want to remember that last Saturday Nellie took her first steps while I was on a walk to the temple with some ladies from church.  I want to remember that she can't be bothered with anyone trying to coax her and only wants to do it if no one is paying attention.
I want to remember that building a home is equal parts hard and wonderful.  It is a blessing that I am grateful for every day, but it is also not easy.  Shawni, one of my favorite bloggers, posted about her experience with building a few weeks ago.  And then she was massacred in the comments section for "complaining" about the process.  I have hesitated to post much about building for that very reason.  I know that most of the people who read my blog are friends and family who are genuinely interested, but I don't want to seem ungrateful when I talk about the hard things (even though they really are  hard!).  I don't want to lead people down a path of comparison.  I plan to share some pictures when all is said and done, but in the mean time it's not something I want to share every detail about.  I'm happy to talk about it when people ask (and if you have questions, feel free to do so!), but it's not something I want to write about at length.  Progress is being made slowly but surely, and I'm still working on making a few decisions.  As grateful as I am for the process, I will also be grateful when it's over.  I look forward to feeling my time being less divided, because this process ranges from a part-time to full-time job, and I already have a full-time job that I kind of like and that I really want to give all of my energy to.
I want to remember living in this quirky house.  I think the kids have loved sharing a room (minus Nellie).  I will be glad to have everyone sleeping a little more.  I will be glad when light fixtures are hanging from the ceiling instead of piled high all over the house.  I will be glad to have food that doesn't rapidly spoil due to humidity or a fridge that likes to freeze my food.  I will be glad to not feel so displaced, not feeling like I belong much of anywhere.
I want to remember that this week with Sam has been eternally long.  A ruptured ear drum that didn't fully rupture initially led to some long days and longer nights.  The amount of crying has been astounding, and I've felt so bad for my poor boy.  But today he's rebounding and I'm so glad we're turning the corner.
Today I want to remember that the sun is shining and the air is crisp, but warming up a little for the weekend.  Oh, how I savor these last few warm days.  General conference is around the corner, and the anticipation makes me happy.  There are good days ahead.