Monday, January 28, 2013

Enough

The weekend after we returned from Idaho with my dad, it was our annual Stake Women's Conference.  We were still very much adjusting to our new schedule and I still had a small baby at home, but I knew that everything at home would still be there when I returned.  The husband assured me that he could hold things together for a few hours, so I left and went to the conference.  I was not prepared for the speaker's message to feel directed to me.  I was not prepared to sob through the whole meeting.  I was not prepared for the promptings that would come almost faster than I could write them down.  I was not prepared to feel the love of my Father in Heaven so abundantly just for me.

The speaker was Emily Freeman, and she spoke on the promise of enough.  She talked about the miracles that happen when we work with the Lord to take what we have and make it more.  She spoke of the abundance that can come when we need a miracle.  I was keenly aware that I was in desperate need of a miracle.  How could I care for 3 young children, one of which was a newborn?  How could I meet the needs of my dad?  How could I continue to function in the leadership positions I held?  How would my marriage hold up under this kind of pressure?  Suddenly I felt a greater peace than I had up to that point, that there would be enough.  Enough time.  Enough patience.  Enough stamina.  Enough help.  Enough love.  Not just enough, but enough and to spare.  

When my dad moved in, he had minimal resources.  We knew that we were not only entering a physical, emotional, and spiritual challenge, but also a potentially difficult time financially.  We had savings that began to deplete as we paid for co-pays on top of co-pays and prescriptions and supplies and COBRA premiums and a variety of other expenses.  After about 4 months, things began to look grim.  We were still wading through red-tape to get a short-term disability pay-out, and we had no promise of Social Security or Medicaid or anything else that might help ease the financial burden.  The husband and I sat down and looked at things and had a talk about how we might make things work, possible ways to improve the situation.  We prayed that night asking for help and went to bed. 

The next afternoon the husband called in the middle of the day.  His voice sounded different and I started to worry at the beginning of the call.  He asked me to guess what he was holding at the moment, and a variety of bad options filled my head- a pink slip? a pay cut? Faith was hard to find some days and I feared more bad news.  In quiet disbelief, he told me that his boss's boss had called him into his office to award him a bonus for his outstanding efforts.  The amount of the bonus was slightly more than a month's salary.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as well as his as we expressed our gratitude for a perfectly timed blessing.  

Cutting checks at the husband's job are a long process.  The award would have gone through approval and red tape weeks ahead of time.  But somehow things worked out to receive that blessing exactly when we had asked for it, exactly when we needed it most.  It was just one of the many times we witnessed the promise of enough.  

As I talked about in my last post, all of us will have times when we experience loss.  But in contrast, I am constantly amazed at the abundance that we find in the Lord.  Miracles are truly waiting for each of us.

In an effort to remember what I've been through taking care of my dad post-stroke and share the growth and beauty that came along the way, I will be journaling this experience as part of Bee a Little Better.  You can find all posts in this series under the label "the dad story".  I hope you'll stick with me as I record this experience.  If it doesn't interest you, come back tomorrow for something different.

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