Saturday, December 29, 2012


My girl turned 8.  I'm still trying to figure out how it happened.  Certain memories are so vivid, but I've realized the majority of her toddler-hood has faded for me.  I've spent time lamenting the fact that I didn't document more of her.  Although it's been difficult figuring out motherhood with her, I'd go back and start over again in a minute and do things better.  I'd take more videos. The one or two snippets I have of her cute little voice melt me.  I'd document more of the adorably clever things she said.  I'd give her more of myself.  I'd be more patient and loving and kind.  I'd soak her in.  I feel like it's a gift she's given me in growing up too quickly- realizing how fast the time passes has helped me to enjoy her and her siblings more through each stage.  

She currently would wear a side ponytail everyday if I'd let her.  She's currently pining for colored skinny jeans and loves to accessorize.  She currently is improving at the piano and it's really starting to click for her.  She desires to do the right thing.  She's thoughtful and kind.  She's a fantastic big sister.  She is losing her status as my best eater as she's developed some pickiness, but she usually still eats even with a little complaining.  She draws several pictures a day and writes all sorts of stories and notes.  She loves to read and when she has a new book, it's usually finished in a day.  

I'm so proud of who she is and who she's becoming.  Next week she'll be baptized, and I'm so excited for her.  I'm so happy to be her mom.  

Thursday, December 27, 2012

A few Christmas snippets

I'm sad that Christmas has come and gone without mention here on the blog, let alone jotting down a few memories.  Every year I feel like I've planned ahead and then every year I'm still right back where I was the year before with a frantic pace from one birthday to a Christmas party to another birthday to another Christmas party until we hit the finish line of Christmas day.  Only half of my neighbor gifts have been delivered- I'm still working on those and they're turning into New Years gifts for those who haven't received one yet.  Aside from that, everything made it on time including a birthday party full of 7 and 8 year old girls 3 days before Christmas, but more on that later.

This year I missed a few traditions that we've done in the past, although we also added a few new ones.  Our tree didn't go up until December 16th, nine days before Christmas and way too late for my liking.  Not only was it way too late, but we set it up in the basement this year.  Next year I am determined to have one upstairs and one downstairs.  That was my plan for this year, but I was lucky to get one tree up with the way the month went.  One of the things that keeps me most grounded during the season is sitting by the tree each night in the glow of the Christmas lights.  I think the fact that it was in the basement and the fact that it went up so late and the fact that I've been so busy all contributed, but I think sitting by the tree only happened once for me this year, and I felt the void.  Next year will be better.

Christmas was quiet and lovely.  We opened presents and the kids were delighted.  We visited my dad. I spent the afternoon cooking dinner and we arrived at my in-laws around 4:30 to eat.  Instead of a formal affair, we ended up with a Christmas picnic for my mother-in-law who is still recovering from her surgery.  We had a nice visit and then came home, skyped with my mom, and headed to bed.

The past few days have been spent in pajamas playing with new toys, snacking all day until dinner, and enjoying the lack of structure.  A ton of snow has been even more reason to stay home.  All of the play dates I was planning on haven't happened, but I've really enjoyed hanging out with my own little family.

Hope your Christmas was merry and bright.  I am grateful as always for the birth of my Savior.  Last Sunday we did the nativity with the children at church with full costumes and a stable.  It was a great way to focus on what is really most important at Christmas- the birth of a baby sent to change the world.

Sunday, December 16, 2012


I've thought a lot about life for the past two days.  The events in Connecticut are overwhelming and difficult to comprehend.  Hearing the news became a moment when time stopped.  A few hours earlier I was with Nellie at her 6 month check-up finding out how my girl is growing and delighting in her development.  Shortly after I received an email with some good news from a friend in difficult circumstances.  A few hours later I received news about the chemotherapy schedule for my mother-in-law: 6 months of treatment.  So much good and bad in one day.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with all of the bad and hard and hurtful and evil things in the world.  Other times I am overcome by the goodness and love and kindness and peace that still exist.  Life is full of both, but sometimes it's hard to recognize the good and not let the knowledge of the bad seep into every thought.  

I laid in bed last night and talked to the husband about all sorts of things.  We played name that tune with the magic piano app on his iPad for way too long and talked about things we need to improve on and the coming Christmas celebrations and how to make our home a refuge and protect our children in today's world.  Events like yesterday make me want to never leave my safe haven, but living my life in fear is letting evil win.  I choose to live my life with faith instead, working hard to add a little good to the world and to teach and love and protect my family the best I can.  

I loved the message of this video.  Although the trial is completely different than what is currently being experienced in Newtown, the message that the Savior will hold us during our most difficult Christmases is my prayer for all of those affected by this tragedy.  

Sunday, December 2, 2012

My Charlie boy

Today my Charlie turns 3.  I am in love with this little boy.  He has a big personality to match his ever-growing body.  He is quite the ham and loves to charm everyone around him.  He loves to read.  He loves his siblings.  He adores his dad.  After we drop everyone off in the morning he asks if we can go pick them up.  It's followed by, "Where's Dad?" "At work." "Still?"  He loves routines and his blankets and singing and dancing and Daniel Tiger.  When I asked what he wanted for his birthday, he thought about it for a few minutes and then with great enthusiasm and his squinty smile he enthused, "CAKE!"  I asked if he wanted anything else, thinking maybe he'd come up with a desired toy, and his reply was, "DONUTS!"  He's got a definite sweet tooth. He's sweet and sensitive to the needs of those around him, and if he senses any sort of pain or distress he's quick to say "I'm sorry" and make sure you're ok.  I have loved 2 year old Charlie deeply, and I can't wait to continue to watch this boy grow.

In other news, I can't believe it's December.  Thanksgiving was wonderful.  My heart has definitely been full of gratitude, but I wasn't very good about documenting it.  I have been trying to do too much on my own lately instead of relying on heavenly help, and it's caused me to make things a lot harder than they need to be.  I'm working on it, taking one thing at a time in the next several weeks of craziness, and knowing that things will go much more smoothly when I include the Lord in my life.  I'm excited to celebrate Him this month!