Thursday, August 23, 2012

A few things

be nice
be you

1.  School has started and I'm kind of mopey.  There are so many good things about it, but it sure stresses me out at the same time.  When I pulled up in front of the school on Tuesday, I kid you not, "God be with you till we meet again" came on the cd player.  Thank you to The Lower Lights for making me totally lose it at drop off. 

2.  I'm beginning to mark things off the to-do list that have been hanging out there all summer.  I'm feeling the urge to purge and organize since we finished the basement and then had a baby and everything hasn't quite found its home again after those events.  Slowly but surely things will find a place around here.

3. I've had many late nights over the past couple of weeks.  I'm hoping this weekend proves restful.  Aside from celebrating the husband's birthday, it's free of plans.  Hooray!

4.  Sam starts kindergarten Tuesday.  I'm definitely more stressed about his first day then I was about Addie's.  He hasn't had a great first-day drop off ever.  Usually he's peeled off of me to attend whatever class he's headed to.  I'm hopeful he'll be awesome because I'm pretty sure no one will be there to peel him off of me this year.

5.  Last Sunday we had a special family night with back to school blessings.  The husband and I had been discussing what our hopes are for our kids this school year, and he talked about wanting them to really leave their comfort zones to make new friends and include everyone.  I talked about wanting them to stick to what they know to be right and to not worry about what everyone else is thinking about them.  We came up with our theme for the year, be nice+be you.  I'm hopeful they can work on these two principles throughout the year.

6.  All summer I said that I was ok with the fact I didn't plant a garden because I was too pregnant when I should have been planting.  Now that it's harvest time I'm a little sad about it.  I'm currently hoping stray produce will find its way to my doorstep.

7.  I made peach salsa last night with fish tacos.  I love peach season.

Hope you're enjoying the back-to-school/summer cool-down/garden harvest/slow weekend time of year.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

A summer re-cap

I'm so behind on so many things, this blog just happens to be one of them.  I am in denial that it's August and we're entering the last week of summer break.  I'm having a hard time imagining the routine beginning again.

I keep feeling like there are so many things that I've wanted to do with my kids, things I've wanted to implement, goals I've hoped to achieve as a family, but for one reason or another those plans don't come to fruition.  A few weeks ago it donned on me that the time is now- if I want those things to happen I can't keep putting them off, because my time with my kids is racing by.

It is terrible and wonderful watching them grow up.  Wonderful to see the people they're becoming.  Terrible as they move from one stage to the next and I'm left with a pain in my heart at how quickly time passes and a pile of fading memories of cute little voices and quirky behaviors.  I'm sure postpartum hormones and Sam going to kindergarten this year have something to do with my extra-sentimental feelings.

This has been the summer of four kids.  There have been milestones in between- birthdays and anniversaries and blessing days.  There have been house guests using our guest room regularly and making me so glad we have more space to accommodate friends and family.  There have been parties.  Oh, there have been parties.  I still have traces of them around my house.  Two weeks ago I hosted a formal dinner party/30th birthday bash for a dear friend.  Maybe someday I'll share pictures.  It.was.awesome.  The end of that week we had Nellie's blessing and threw in a birthday cake for Pat's dad during our post-blessing family luncheon.  This week is our 3rd annual back to school party (also known as my attempt to distract myself from feeling sad about school starting).  The pace is picking up again, and I'm happy when I see commitment-free days on the calendar.  There are only a few left and I'm  hoping to fill them with a few more sprinklers and popsicles and movies and naps in between the dreaded job of finding school shoes- seriously the worst thing to shop for ever.

I'm hoping to get back here more to redefine this space and return to the reasons I started this blog in the first place.  It's taken on more of a family feel lately than I ever intended, but I suppose that's the stage of improving I'm in right now.  Every day I'm trying to be a better mom of four than I was the day before.  Every day I'm hoping our routine gets better and my kids learn something and something gets cleaned and good food is consumed and I don't go crazy or get too mean in the process.  There aren't very many lofty goals towards improvement right now, and moments of reflection and learning aren't happening with the same frequency they have in the past.  I'm sure they're coming soon.  And when they do you can bet I'll be back to share them.  In the mean time I'm sure there will be more family-style posts to come.  And besides, who wouldn't want to look at this cute face?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

A Decade

last summer with my love, picture by Melissa
While going through boxes of belongings a few months ago, attempting to get rid of the unnecessary since we were finishing our basement, I came across every church handout ever collected during my youth.  99.9% of things instantly made their way to the garbage, but there were a few things I came across that made me smile.  The list of qualities I'd like in a husband was one of those things that made me pause.  As I read through my teenage dreams about my future companion, I was blessed to realize I had found a man who embodied every one of them.  Hard-working, kind, generous, funny, he really is everything I wanted, but so much more.

We spent time with our kids on our anniversary last Friday having a picnic up the canyon.  There are few places that make me as happy.  As we walked down the path to Bridal Veil Falls, I took turns pushing the stroller, corralling Charlie to make sure he didn't wander towards the river, running with Sam, and talking to Addie.  I told her that I hoped one day she'd find someone to marry who was just as great as her dad.  She agreed and added her wish that she hopes he's cute.  It was a perfect day spent together as a family (kind of what we expected with a new baby), but plans for a future celebration with the two of us next year are something we look forward to.  

My eyes welled up over and over again last week, and even now, thinking about my marriage instantly produces grateful tears.  I think part of my emotions come from a sadness that those years are gone.  They were hard and crazy and full and beautiful.  We took time last Friday to reflect on how far we've come over the last decade.  We've each grown by leaps and bounds thanks to the tender care we give each other.  He helps me to be my best, teaching me to relax and enjoy and be kinder and more forgiving.  He is my best friend and biggest supporter.  I wish for my children to someday experience the same joy in marriage that I have found.  It is a sacred partnership, and I am blessed beyond measure.