Friday, May 25, 2012

Current Events

number of weeks until the baby.  cool modern print via


-Yesterday was our first contractor-free day.  Hooray!  A few little details remain that need tweaked, but we're pretty much done.  There is so much to do moving things around and finding a home for everything that's been piled high around the house for the last two months.  Hoping I can create a little bit of order and kick this nesting into high gear.  My mom came last weekend and helped me get things started- huge help!  The down side is that my schedule has been busier since she left and I haven't been nearly as motivated.  I'm sure it will all get done.  The long weekend should help immensely.  I'm hoping I can squeeze in a few more get-togethers before the baby.  Sorry, friends, I haven't been ignoring you.  My house just hasn't been a safe place for your kids with piles around every corner, and I haven't really been on my game.

-This week I could have re-written this post.  Sam had preschool graduation.  History repeated itself.  He had grown so much over the past year, but the anxiety experienced when performing for a large group is still reality for him.

-We've still been in sick-kid zone.  Charlie ended antibiotics Saturday night just in time for Sam to start an ear infection.  Sam seems to be on the upswing, so I'm crossing my fingers we've entered the healthy zone again.

-This morning we went to the elementary school dance festival, an end of the year tradition where each grade learns and performs a dance for all the parents.  We stuck around to eat lunch with Addie.  I get a little tired with the constant end of year hoopla, but it was fun to see her excitement about her dance as they've been practicing.  I think about summer and get really excited for no routine.  And then I freak out when I realize we're adding a baby to the mix.

-I'm 38 weeks today.  Things are progressing.  I have an induction scheduled for June 7th if nothing happens before then.  Craziness.  I feel very unprepared for this baby.  Not just physically, but emotionally.  I'm trying to remind myself of what it means to have a new baby and how that will translate into our current family dynamics.  Yesterday Charlie dumped an entire box of couscous on the family room carpet.  I'm pretty sure more of those disasters are bound to happen while I'm feeding a baby all the time.  But I'm also getting more excited to meet this baby and see the other kids love on her.  It feels so surreal at this point, but it's going to be reality in less than two weeks.  I'm hoping I can settle down and get myself in a place where I feel ready.

May your weekend be productive and include a delicious hamburger at some point.  That's what I'm hoping for.  Have a happy one!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day Moments

beautiful quote found here


On Friday we took Sam for some testing regarding the digestive issues he's been having.  Although what they're testing for could be overwhelming, I have felt that this isn't the real issue but instead just another thing to check off the list as we try to figure out what the cause is.  We went to Primary Children's Medical Center for the test, and while we were there I teared up several times thinking about the other families who were there.  I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the children who were there who would never leave those hospital walls.  We walked past the doors to the NICU and saw anxious family members in the halls with tags identifying them as parents to their babies.  I thought about the families who visit the hospital regularly because of serious health issues.  I thought about the burdens that are carried by so many mothers and wanted to give each of them a huge hug and a cheer.  They are doing this.  They are being advocates for their children, trusting their instincts, and doing their best to care for their kids with extra stresses that shouldn't be part of childhood.  I am in awe of these mothers.

After the test, we stopped for a late lunch with Sam where he explained all sorts of things about the workings of the world, impressed us with his increasing reading abilities, and imagined all sorts of amazing scenarios.  It's so fun to talk to my kids one on one, even if it takes not-so-fun appointments to make those moments happen.  I love being his mom.

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Early in the week when Charlie was in the peak of not feeling well, I jumped in the shower fast before we were headed to his doctor's appointment.  He waited for me by the shower door, and when I got out, he looked at me and asked in a serious and alarmed voice, "What happened to your body?"  I informed him that it had a baby in it, and with total sympathy he responded, "I sooo sorry."  I had a good laugh about his concern for my body, but also the realization that I'm not so sorry.  I'm so grateful that we're at this point- almost to the finish line- and in the place where my appearance is probably pity-inducing because that's often how you feel when you see someone who looks very pregnant and uncomfortable.  And I'm grateful for the funny things my kids say that make me laugh and keep me on my toes.  I love being Charlie's mom.

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If you want to feel doted on on Mother's Day, get a 7-year-old girl.  Addie has been the sweetest over the past several days.  She went on a date with the husband on Friday night, and Mother's Day shopping was on the agenda.  She informed her dad that instead of going to Costco for flowers they should go to the fancy flower shop, and she picked a gorgeous arrangement.  She also stopped by Target to pick up a journal and some mechanical pencils for me, complete with extra lead and extra erasers.  She's rubbed my back, told me Happy Mother's Day countless times, and been as sweet as pie.  (Sam also got his moment to pick out gifts for me- a hanging basket and a shirt for the baby were his choices.)  Addie is kind and tender and thoughtful to the extreme.  I love being her mom.

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I feel blessed to be content as a mother.  I know that there are many who struggle to feel that motherhood is enough, and I also know that for some people it's truly not, but I am glad that it is enough for me.  I feel humbled by the responsibilities I feel when I look at the beautiful spirits who are in my care.  I am grateful for the growth that it brings in me.  Nothing has improved me more.  I still have such a long way to go, but my children are forgiving and patient and I feel blessed that they continue to love me despite my mistakes in motherhood.  Days are often long and hard, nights are longer.  There is always someone in a difficult stage, someone making me rethink my approach, someone to worry about.  But there are so many small moments that fill my cup to overflowing.  I love being a mom.

Happy Mother's Day

Saturday, May 12, 2012

So much to say

Hello!  Didn't mean to fall off the planet like that.  Things have been crazy.  A quick recap of where I've been for the past 3+ weeks?

- Home Depot+Lowe's+Home Depot+Lowe's+Home Depot+Lowe's making decisions on the basement.  Crossing my fingers things are really wrapping up this week.  I can't take it much longer!

-at the doctor or on the couch holding sick kids who've been sick for the past.12.days.  They've been long days and nights and included throwing up+sweaty little bodies+coughs that won't stop+chest x-rays to rule out pneumonia (negative thank heavens)+breathing treatments+steroid-induced baby rage=worn out.  I think we've turned the corner, but things still aren't totally back to normal.

-at prenatal visits since entering the stage where you go all the time just for vitals+weight+measure+heart beat.  I wish there was a frequent flier option for moms who don't have any questions for that appointment so I could skip the 80+ minute wait times I've had at a few recent visits.  But the good news is things are moving right along and I'm 36 weeks.  I'm pretty sure I'll blink and she'll be here, but I'm trying to pack a lot into that blink.  

-at a baby celebration surrounded by sweet friends and family.  It was a beautiful gesture and a great time to get together and remember the exciting things coming and rejoice in that blessing with some of my favorite people.  I am grateful for good, loving, supportive women in my life.  Not just at this event, but numerous phone calls, texts, notes and packages all came this week at just the right moments when I was on the brink of crazy while residing in sick-kid-ville.  I am blessed to have thoughtful friends, and it is so appreciated.  

-spending quiet moments thinking a lot about who I am and who I want to be and how to get there.  Thinking a lot about the qualities I desire to develop and looking to those around me who exemplify those traits.  Thinking a lot about improving but being realistic given my current circumstances.  Making mental notes of all the things I need to record here.  

I'm not making many promises on how much I'll be checking in with all of the changes in the coming weeks, but I'm really hoping to be back tomorrow.  I can't let Mother's Day pass me by without a chance to share.  In the mean time, you can catch up on my series of posts last year at this time.  

It's good to be back.