It's good to be back. We spent last week in Disneyland. It was a great semi-impromptu trip that was desperately needed, and I'm so glad things fell into place so we could have some family fun and time to decompress.
When we had Nellie in June, things were great. I loved our slow-paced summer, and although adding another member to our family was an adjustment for all of us, we all seemed to be adjusting and things were going well. Over the past several months, I've seen myself become more and more on edge. It got to the point of almost constant irritation mixed with bouts of being completely overwhelmed. One day while in a state of frustration, I had an impression that this was not normal, and that this is postpartum depression. I never reached the point of wanting to harm myself or the baby, so I assumed all was well and didn't recognize that this could manifest itself in many ways. But here I am, feeling so relieved that I was able to recognize and acknowledge what was happening, and hopeful that I can start to pull out of this. I have gained so many insights in the past several weeks, and I'm hoping to share some of them soon. I don't feel like I've totally closed this chapter yet, but I'm getting closer to the end.
This is a humbling post to write, but I've felt a need to put it out there. I hope that others can realize that being sad is not the only symptom. I hope others can realize that it's ok to be honest and not always feel the need to cover things up and put on a brave face and preserve appearances. I think this is why I've withdrawn from blogging and friends and life in general. But I'm putting the pieces back together and learning all along the way.
Hope you're enjoying this week! I'm on turkey brining duty, and I'm excited for Thanksgiving preparations. So much to look forward to!