Tuesday, September 18, 2012


hoping this applies to my current situation, via

Last week the husband met with his doctor.  About a month ago we learned that the heavy doses of steroids he's been on over the years for his Crohn's have killed his bones, and he has osteoporosis.  He met with a new family practice doctor to take over that portion of his care.  After running an extensive lab panel, the doctor had some suggestions for changing his diet that will hopefully improve his bones and overall health.

These are some big time changes.  I feel like we're pretty much overhauling the way we eat.  The doctor suggested implementing any/all/a combination of the following diets: GAPS, FODMAPS, or Paleo.  While they each have their own specifics, they share the commonality of pretty much no grains or legumes, no sugar, limited dairy, you know, misery.  My kids love beans.  Hummus is eaten on a regular basis.  Life without bread is going to be a change.  Ice cream has been my favorite food since I was big enough to talk.  Pat and I regularly end the night with a sugary treat.  Life changes for sure.

I spent the weekend feeling a combination of overwhelmed sorting through all of this nutritional info and deep sorrow thinking about life without chicken pot pie or cornbread with my chili or homemade pizza (dare I try a cauliflower crust?!?) or our favorite enchiladas or tortillas in general or pitas or rolls at thanksgiving or dessert or on and on.  I'm sure that sounds dramatic, but food is such a huge part of my identity as one who tries to make good food, and it's been sad to think about abandoning some of our favorite recipes.  I'm sure we'll gain some new ones.

I'm also really hopeful.  I truly believe that food can heal, and I have hope that all of the pesky health issues we've dealt with can maybe be gone, from little things like allergies to bigger ones like asthma to even bigger ones like Crohn's.  I'm hopeful that we can re-introduce sourdough bread given some of it's health properties after our initial cleanse, but I'm sure the things we will/won't eat will evolve over time as we experiment with what brings us our best health.  

I suppose I can look back and see the ways I've been preparing for this over the years, from dealing with food allergies for my boys to cooking a strict diet for my dad to eliminating dairy while nursing.  I'm happy that I can get creative in the kitchen and figure out some new things.  I've made batch one of bone broth.  I made a new dinner recipe tonight that was decent and surprisingly filling.  I'm getting ready to clean out my pantry of anything processed and refill it with our new and improved foods.

I feel kind of crazy.  I'm sure this sounds crazy.  But I have hope.  I'll let you know how it goes.  If anyone has any experience/recommendations/condolences (ha!) feel free to weigh in.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I'm currently wanting one of these and am filled with an urgent need to learn embroidery (found via Leslie's pinterest from this great Etsy shop)

- I'm still re-reading the amazing comments from my last post.  There is wisdom in those words.  Thank you, friends, for sharing how you try to balance it all and reminding me how to be in the moment with my kids.  I'm doing much better and just trying to focus on the things I can do instead of letting my thoughts get tangled up in the things I can't.

- I'm finishing up some of the produce shared by generous friends and neighbors.  Tomatoes with a little salt+pepper=lunch perfection.

-I'm getting caught up after a few days away.  We went to Boise to visit my family and friends.  While there, I was able to attend one day of Time out for Women.  What a fantastic day- I'm sure I'll have more thoughts to share from insights I've learned.  More than anything, it motivated me to tell my story, so hopefully that means I'll be carving out time to write here more often.  At least I'm motivated again with good intentions, we'll see if they come to fruition!

-I'm enjoying the still-warm but slightly cooler temps.  I love the seasons, but part of me thinks I'd be fine to move somewhere with moderate weather year-round.

-I'm daydreaming about moving in general.  I am very content where I am.  We're not going anywhere anytime soon.  But part of me would love to pick up tomorrow and move to a neighborhood that has kids and families.  A girl can dream, right?

- I'm listening to the incessant chatter of my favorite two year old.  He's informed me that today is my birthday, so it's time for me to go join him for my party.

Happy day to all of you!

Sunday, September 2, 2012


fantastic sentiment from illustrator Charlotte Trounce

Now that school has started, I'm in an interesting place.  My dreams of productivity are a far cry from reality.  My schedule goes something like: wake up, feed the baby, get the kids ready, drop off kids at school, feed the baby, do some dishes/laundry or run an errand, pick-up Sam, feed the baby, try to get kid(s) to nap, start dinner preparation or do more laundry or make phone calls or clean a bathroom, pick up Addie, feed the baby, make dinner, get everyone ready for bed, feed the baby, put the kids to bed, try to do a few more productive things, fall into bed. 

I lamented to the husband a few nights ago that it's a bad thing for a woman when she doesn't feel productive.  I'm having a hard time letting go of all the things I thought I'd be accomplishing and embracing the reality of my days right now.  I've watched some of my friends move past this stage and into the place where kids are becoming more independent and dreams of productivity are becoming reality.  I realize that everyone has their own timetable, but I feel left behind in some ways, like I should be moving at that new faster pace but I have two littles holding me back.  And then I feel a million percent guilty for even having that thought.  I love having kids at home with me!  I am so grateful for these wonderful people I spend my days with.  And I'm not sure that this is the end of this chapter for our family- this stage may stretch on for a few more years.  It excites me and stresses me out all at the same time.  

This time of year is a transition for everyone.  We've had one week of both kids in school, I'm sure that I'll start to find my groove more, but I'm kind of tired of feeling like we can't move beyond the bare minimum of household functioning.  When I think about what I'm wanting, it's silly that I even have these feelings.  I want to feel more on top of things at home.  Why?  To make things better for my family.  But isn't my family what I'm wanting the break from?  I want to have more time to help others.  But helping others?  Why can't I feel more content helping those within my own home?  Oh, the irony.  

It's time for an a paradigm shift around here.  I have my work cut out for me.  If you've been in this place before, tell me what's worked for you.  I need a pep talk.