I'm so behind on so many things, this blog just happens to be one of them. I am in denial that it's August and we're entering the last week of summer break. I'm having a hard time imagining the routine beginning again.
I keep feeling like there are so many things that I've wanted to do with my kids, things I've wanted to implement, goals I've hoped to achieve as a family, but for one reason or another those plans don't come to fruition. A few weeks ago it donned on me that the time is now- if I want those things to happen I can't keep putting them off, because my time with my kids is racing by.
It is terrible and wonderful watching them grow up. Wonderful to see the people they're becoming. Terrible as they move from one stage to the next and I'm left with a pain in my heart at how quickly time passes and a pile of fading memories of cute little voices and quirky behaviors. I'm sure postpartum hormones and Sam going to kindergarten this year have something to do with my extra-sentimental feelings.
This has been the summer of four kids. There have been milestones in between- birthdays and anniversaries and blessing days. There have been house guests using our guest room regularly and making me so glad we have more space to accommodate friends and family. There have been parties. Oh, there have been parties. I still have traces of them around my house. Two weeks ago I hosted a formal dinner party/30th birthday bash for a dear friend. Maybe someday I'll share pictures. It.was.awesome. The end of that week we had Nellie's blessing and threw in a birthday cake for Pat's dad during our post-blessing family luncheon. This week is our 3rd annual back to school party (also known as my attempt to distract myself from feeling sad about school starting). The pace is picking up again, and I'm happy when I see commitment-free days on the calendar. There are only a few left and I'm hoping to fill them with a few more sprinklers and popsicles and movies and naps in between the dreaded job of finding school shoes- seriously the worst thing to shop for ever.
I'm hoping to get back here more to redefine this space and return to the reasons I started this blog in the first place. It's taken on more of a family feel lately than I ever intended, but I suppose that's the stage of improving I'm in right now. Every day I'm trying to be a better mom of four than I was the day before. Every day I'm hoping our routine gets better and my kids learn something and something gets cleaned and good food is consumed and I don't go crazy or get too mean in the process. There aren't very many lofty goals towards improvement right now, and moments of reflection and learning aren't happening with the same frequency they have in the past. I'm sure they're coming soon. And when they do you can bet I'll be back to share them. In the mean time I'm sure there will be more family-style posts to come. And besides, who wouldn't want to look at this cute face?