|Quote from this wonderful talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, image from this new book|
This week has been full of ups and downs. The start of the week had me in a full-fledged funk. I was in a lull with the basement project where the stress seemed to be clouding out the excitement. The lack of getting things done+increase of general chaos around the house has had me out of my groove. The husband and I were chatting while we were going to bed Monday night. Just as I began to open up to him about the reasons for my self-diagnosed funk, he fell asleep. I laughed and rolled over and gave him a healthy dose of teasing about it this week. He is the best listener and was so apologetic, but it still seemed so funny to me. I'm glad I could laugh about it and let it go instead of adding it to my pile of troubles.
I've had a plateful of worries lately. I know we all do, but for some reason they've seemed extra overwhelming when I'm already extra-charged with hormones/emotions.
My dad is falling daily and his balance seems to be rapidly declining. I've been on the phone trying to make arrangements for a motorized chair and playing phone tag with the doctor's office about adjusting medications and trying to figure out what to do to make it better. I think a trip to the doctor would be a good start. (I really need to record more of the dad story in general- it's constantly on my to-do list, and I hope those lessons and inspiration will come back to me as I attempt to record them.)
The long-awaited allergist appointment happened yesterday and we got good news and bad news. Sam was a trooper as they did a thorough (16 items!) scratch panel. The good news is that the food allergies we've been worried about seem to be a non-issue. The bad news is that he had the highest allergy levels possible for trees, weeds, and grasses, but it's nothing a daily allergy medicine won't help. He also has a mild allergy to cats and dogs, letting me off the hook on the pet frontier. ;) The worst news is that because food allergies are not the cause of his digestive issues, we're back to the drawing board and in for more tests and a long wait to meet with a pediatric GI doctor.
On Tuesday I woke up knowing I couldn't go through the whole day with the same gloom that I carried around on Monday, so I made a list and made the effort to get the boys out the door with me for a trip to Costco. While we were loading up to come home a friend called and I was so happy to have her drop by, even though I would be unloading groceries and feeding lunches and doing nothing too exciting. It was so nice to talk, and as I discussed the disconnected feelings I was experiencing, she brought a fresh perspective that was oh so welcome. She helped me see that maybe part of my funk was coming from my lack of time/resources/energy to help others, something that is usually a big part of my life. The fact that caring for my own family is all-consuming for me right now leaves little left over for others. As I continued to think about her observation, I realized that I need to feel needed, and not being able to help others at my normal pace and to feel needed was playing a definite role in my funk.
My visit Tuesday with my friend was a good shot in the arm, and a few hours later I received another one when I was able to help a friend with a project that we'd started on a few weeks earlier. It involved computer skills, something I can still do, and I was so grateful to feel useful and productive and needed. As I was visiting with this friend while we worked, the thought came to me, "You are not forgotten." It made me think of the talk quoted above. Hours earlier I had prayed to get out of my funk, to help others, to feel purpose, and my answers came promptly through others. I know that I am not forgotten by my Heavenly Father, and as much as it may feel like it sometimes, that no one is.
Happy Weekend! With a gorgeous weekend forecast I think sunshine and yard work and hopefully a visit to the tulip festival will be on the agenda.