Thursday, October 6, 2011

Boy, oh boy

self-portrait of de-Man in his converse.  he's got places to go...

There are days (weeks? months?) when motherhood feels overwhelming, especially in regards to various stages my kids may be going through.  The oldest boy has been in a funk for a long time, and there are days when I think it might do me in.

Not that I want to blame his behavior on any particular time, but really, almost two years ago things turned upside down in his world and I don't think he's been the same since.  First, he got a baby brother.  Six weeks later he turned three.  A week later he had a grandpa move in, and he often had a hard time getting along with him.  He's been on an emotional roller-coaster ever since.  I'm not quite sure how to get him off.

This boy is really a fun kid.  He's happy and silly, always making jokes and trying to lighten the mood.  He can be really sweet to others when he decides to be.  Oh, is he sensitive.  But he has also been quick to anger lately, frequently yelling about how rude everyone/thing is over the simplest requests.  His moods change quickly and are rather unpredictable.  Getting him to accomplish a task, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant the task may be, regularly turns into a show-down.  His current desires revolve around screen time and sugar, things that would be gone if I had my way, leaving him always wanting more.

I know he is bound for great things.  I've felt it since he was tiny.  But I think he's at a point where I've tried to let things slide and coax him along as much as possible.  I'm needing some serious parental inspiration.

I'm grateful that I can find answers from an eternal source with much more parental wisdom than I currently possess.  I'll be digging deep for answers for just what this boy needs.

Any 4-year-old boy wisdom is definitely welcome.


Hannah said...

I think 4 year old boys must all be hard. Honestly, I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's little boy is a tad obstinate. It is especially hard when the first child is so obedient by nature. We've discovered that with Carson, we have to stop telling him "stop that" "no!" "don't do that!" and praise him for doing the right thing. Every time he does something obedient or nice, we make a BIG deal of it. Major praising. It seems to have helped.

Evaly said...

I have a 4 year old girl that is giving me a run for my money too! I think 4 is hard. They are capable of a lot, but not quite old enough for some things. I think they get naughty because they are getting more aware. In my experience, 5 is great though! Seems they change overnight into the mature little person you thought they would never be :)

Curls said...

I have no advice, but have you read Asking Jane? She hasn't updated her blog in awhile, but I always loved her advice, and I think she may have given some to someone with a similar problem a while back.

Just a thought.

jeanine said...

I agree... asking Jane is GREAT.

And I'm on my second 4 year old. It's hard. I've noticed that if I give lots of praise and if I'm consistent with discipline we're all happier. Maybe you could use screen time and sugar as a reward system? Or if he acts out he doesn't get those privileges?

Erin said...

Wow, I am in the same boat too. With all my kids. For me it seems to never end. There is always some behavioral problem that I'm not quite sure how to deal with.

I think my biggest problem is NOT taking it to the Lord.

I try so often to rely on my wisdom and my ways.

Let me tell you, THEY AIN'T CUT-TIN' IT!!!

I am so glad you stopped by my blog and so glad that I found yours.

Nice to meet ya! (Imagine that I sound like I'm from Idaho! Cause I live there these days!)