Thursday, August 4, 2011

Just What I Needed

latest favorite picture of Miss A from our family pictures taken by the talented Melissa (and I'm sure you'll be seeing more of these soon because I'm swooning over them!)

There are times when I will admit that I want validation in life.  As far as the 5 love languages go, I am definitely a words of affirmation kind of person, and I need to hear every so often that I'm doing a good job.  I know it may be a lack of maturity or a sign of weakness, but still it is something that kind of makes me tick.   I've been in one of those periods lately just feeling like I needed a little validation, and today it came.

The kids finished their session of swimming lessons today.  It got progressively better with the boy crying 45 minutes the first day, 20 minutes the second day, 2 minutes yesterday, and praises be today was tear free.  Miss A was also a ball of nerves with a few tears yesterday regarding a certain diving board, but besides that she held it together and became more comfortable as the week went on.  I was happy with their progress and excited when they both said they want to continue lessons- swimming lesson success!

Because swimming lessons were over, today was the day for a trip to Target to pick out a small reward.  The Entitlement Trap has been on my mind, so at the start of the week I set out the guidelines that would be required for them to earn the treat of their choosing (I'm more and more excited for the book to come out so I can see if my methods are really on track).  They had to participate and try everything asked of them this week.  Because they were both going into swimming with a lot of fear, we also discussed replacing their fears with faith, and they both overcame fears and tried hard everyday. I think it was a reward well-earned, and I could tell that they were proud of themselves and the work they'd done this week. 

And so we were off to Target to spend an eternity choosing the perfect prize within their small price range.  Polly Pockets were perused, Barbies were browsed, Zhu-zhu pets were examined and Legos were longed for.  Legos and Barbies won, and we continued to browse the end-caps for any other clearance scores on our way to the registers.  We did a quick trip through the girls clothing section to see if there were any back-to-school necessities, and Miss A was happy to check out the wares.

She pointed out a shirt that she was instantly disgusted by.  "Mom, this shirt says 'Born to Shop,' but that is wrong.  We're not born to shop, we're born to get a body and have a family.  Even though it is cute and modest, it does not say a nice thing.  I don't like it."

Thoughts from my last post have still been heavy on my mind, and I so appreciated this gift from Miss A letting me know that she is getting the messages I'm hoping for and that at least in that aspect of parenting, I'm on the right track.  It was also the perfect reminder of the validation that I really desire most in life.  It's nice to receive praise from others, but the messages from my children that reaffirm my efforts as a mother are most treasured.  They are hard to come by.  Parenting is not a pursuit where praise occurs frequently.  I think the moments when we can see our efforts working are a gift from above, a divine reassurance in our parenting.  And today, it was just what I needed.


Hannah said...

I love it, Christina! It made me laugh, but it is also very true! You are a great mom and have some wonderful kids.

Janell R. Cropper said...

This post made me happy. I'm glad you were able to have the validation to what I see and admire in you all the time.